Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
