I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
