he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
