Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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