My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
