Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
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she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
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I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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