tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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