Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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