There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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