i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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