Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
