Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
