I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
