I'm so fucking centered right now
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
