Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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