Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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