Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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