do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
