...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
