When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
not ubering you a puppy
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