I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
