Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize