dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
even my farts smell like vagina
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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