he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
