So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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