We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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