my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize