who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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