I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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