I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
