In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
