I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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