maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
