Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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