I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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