"it" just moved
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
