I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
