just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
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