thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
