All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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