I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
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he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
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Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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