The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We need to get me chipped asap
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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