FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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