You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
