great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
