Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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