I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
