May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
