My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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