...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
