At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
