Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
