ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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