That's intense
her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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