oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
