you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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