You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
id be glad to
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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