His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
