I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
