hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize