apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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