This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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