I got chris browned last night
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
