She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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