In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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