I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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